YuENLiN93 遇見神 ~ Emmanuel

媽媽，兩年了。

2011-10-19T10:40:00.001-04:00

媽媽，兩年了。
您好嗎？掛念您。
如果可以和您一同照顧曉兒會有多好，
我相信您會說給我聽很多我兒時的故事。
可惜...
但我深信您現在天父那裏是最舒服的。
放心，我們會好好教導曉兒，
學習婆婆的勤奮和堅忍！
愛您。

Rachel B 妳七個星期大啦!

2011-09-23T03:56:00.005-04:00

Rachel B 妳七個星期大啦!
踏入妳第五十日大，媽媽想同妳講~
「我好愛妳!」

摟住妳好幸福，是神給我最好的禮物！
無論妳幾夜要起身食奶、媽媽好tired，妳點都要媽媽抱~
只要妳一笑，媽媽個心就溶晒啦！
點幸苦都抵！(何況妳真係好乖！)

掛念您

2011-09-03T13:29:00.003-04:00

媽媽，真的很掛念您！
如果您能夠抱到您的孫女，會有多好！
如果曉兒大個能夠食到您的餸菜，有多幸福！

Maternity leave officially starts!

2011-07-18T06:55:00.005-04:00

產假第一日~

今日比起工作日更早起床!
鬧鐘 7:00am鬧咗!要turn off la!好快就有個人肉鬧鐘鬧爆我lu!
老公竟然如常叫我起身返工！
Hehe...我哋倆個都要好好適應...

星期六，去醫生到baby checkup (now weekly)，醫生話：「BB好快出嚟嘞。」我哋倆個當堂「嚇」親!

「醫生，好快積係幾快？」

「唔係今個星期，就下個星期啦！如果依個星期冇動靜，就星期六返嚟checkup啦!」

吓?!Due date唔係八月七號咩?
於是，依個weekend,我哋cleanup咗間屋、setup咗奶奶間房、setup咗個mobile...

Last day of work before maternity leave

2011-07-15T06:26:00.003-04:00

Mat Leave 前最後一日工作天，之後的一年要盡心為BB、為家庭努力！

期待您的來臨！

Love U Mom

2010-10-19T15:46:00.001-04:00

一年了...媽媽，我們愛您！
因為我們是您的兒女，我們學懂勇敢地面對每一天。
因為我們是神的兒女，我們可以喜樂地面對每一天。
感謝神，亦多謝您！

愛是力量

2010-08-29T11:11:00.007-04:00

只有愛才是最好的治療，不是仇恨，不是報復。
願意我們用愛去回應。
為死傷者、倖存者、菲傭們祈禱。

李瀅銓（馬尼拉事件倖存者）：還死傷者公道，不向弱者抽刃
http://www.inmediahk.net/node/1008084

NBA....where unfairness happens!

2010-07-08T23:52:00.006-04:00

Wade, Bosh, and now LEBRON?!

NBA has become a plot!
Miami Heat just becomes public enemy no. 1 that NO one can beat!

So what is the point of watching anymore?
NBA has just lost the competitiveness of the game.

As a fan of basketball for 20 years now...I am left speechless.

This is not good for the game in the long run, even if it is highly publicized now. Maybe the players have every right to pick their own team, which means, it is the free agency and/or luxury tax system or whatever...that has a FLAW in it.

Yesterday, as a Toronto fan, we can give up watching the Raptors.
Today, as a NBA fan, we can give up watching AT ALL.

NBA....where unfairness happens!

Jesus's Love

2010-03-24T13:57:00.015-04:00

For the past couple of days, I have been pondering about Rev. Wong's message last Sunday.

I think I need to revisit on how I love others and Jesus lately. These days, I find myself comparing myself with others more and more. And somehow I feel disappointed when people treat others better than me, even though I feel I treat them so well, even better than most people treat them. I fell into the trap to think that by doing good things to others will lead to being recognized, or that others will return the love.

God uses Rev. Wong to remind me to NOT to put a value on love. Love cannot be compared. Love should not be something that I long to be returned to me after I loved. Love is not something I performed with a purpose of thinking others will return it, but love...should be unconditional.

Love is sacrificing yourself for others, just like Jesus died on the cross for us. Jesus did not ask us to do anything to pay back his love, nor did he measured or compared how others treated him.

Dear Jesus, please help me learn to love others like you...to love truthfully, and no more "false" love from now on....

"你們既因順從真理，潔淨了自己的心，以致愛弟兄沒有虛假，就當從心裏彼此切實相愛。"(彼前:22)

Friendship

2010-03-21T00:41:00.006-04:00

It's really been some time since we sat quietly amd chat about life. I missed it so much. These couple of years, it seems that we always have some things to do, and didn't always have a chance to talk deeply. I really enjoy the chat, it was short...but precious.

I think this is what friendship is meant to be in life. At bad times like this, and good times...we can manage to share, in laughters and in tears.

These sharings are precious and always lighten my days!

一年了

2010-03-13T17:18:00.002-05:00

六姑姐，你今日已離開一年了。這一年，發生了太多事情。

掛念妳！掛念妳的傻，掛念妳的笑容。掛念妳對我那些串串哄，但很溫暖的提點！掛念！

2010-03-01T09:49:00.007-05:00

"You try to cry less everyday. You move one foot in front of the other, and you try to move forward."
(Brain Burke, Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager)

February 26, 2010

2010-02-26T20:45:00.000-05:00

This...is just not meant to be...
Out of all the question marks in my life, this is one of the big ones.
And I...just need some time to recover....

Exactly the way I feel as well

2010-01-13T15:55:00.003-05:00

http://vineat.blogspot.com/2010/01/be-strong-and-courageous.html

歷史性的一刻

2009-12-06T19:11:00.002-05:00

今天主日，歷史性的一刻出現了！能和這幾位弟兄姐妹一同擘餅記念主，令我感動。

神呀，感謝你聽禱告！實在不可以用足夠的說話去讚美你。

神呀，求你繼續帶領他們，給他們看得見你的供應。使他們有穩定的教會生活。無論末來會是在任何一間教會也好。。。我知道你的愛、供應是夠我們用的。

感謝愛我們的神。

很累

2009-12-02T21:57:00.003-05:00

真的很累！有太多事情想做好，不過總不能提起勁。我只想捲在牀上，什麼也不想。無奈工作太忙，應承了幫手的事不能不做，生活也要繼續下去。

媽媽，懷念妳的堅強！我卻是那麼軟弱？！

掛念妳。

感恩

2009-10-25T07:17:00.004-04:00

我從來也沒想到，對於媽媽的離世，我心裏最深處的感受，是感恩。

感謝耶穌的復活，使我們有永生的盼望。

感謝神這麼愛媽媽，使她無痛、很安詳的離開。

感謝神這星期大小事上的安排，我深信沒有這麼多的巧合，每件事情都是神給我們最好的預備。

感謝神給我們一位這樣偉大的母親，她做任何事，總是先為兒女着想。

感謝神給我們一班這樣好的弟兄姊妹，像一家人般，是一幅很美麗的圖畫。

感謝神給我們有很平安喜樂的心，我知道這份平安、喜樂是從神來的。

感謝神我們「到那日」可和媽媽再相見。

2009-10-19T23:59:00.001-04:00

Thank you mom for everything. We will always love you....forever.
See you in Heaven!

2009-06-04T14:01:00.002-04:00

June 4, 1989 - 6 . 4 .

In remembrance....

母親節

2009-05-12T22:55:00.002-04:00

多謝媽媽你每時每刻的照顧、關愛...

你的勇敢，對神的信心亦成了我的榜樣！

現在是我們照顧你的時候了。

願意以後每天也是母親節！我們愛你！

2009-05-08T21:14:00.005-04:00

May all the ones I love and the ones who love me, be healthy and happy everyday! May God bless them all everyday!

親愛的六姑姐, 一整月了...

2009-04-13T21:42:00.006-04:00

六姑姐：

不經不覺您已經離開了一整月。

那天清晨長途電話響起，心中已知…是的，您已經離開了。一切都太快了。三天前，您好地地，昏倒，昏迷；三天後，您回去天父那裡了。

是的，生命原是脆弱。很多事我們都不能控制…只是，每當想到您從沒機會說再見，總使我難過…

六姑姐

2009-04-05T21:24:00.002-04:00

六姑姐主懷安息, 天家再見。

我們都會振作!
你永遠在我們心裡...

Aunt 6

2009-03-13T22:42:00.003-04:00

Aunt 6, rest in peace. We will see you again in heaven.

I miss u.

I still cannot accept/digest that you are gone... all still like a horrible dream to me... even though I know I cannot wake up from this one.

Blog resumes...

2009-03-13T22:17:00.001-04:00

I stopped my blog some time ago, because I did not want the blog to be a place where I whine/ complaint, or vent.

Today, I will resume my blog because I want to record what God is doing in my life, how Jesus is with me all the time.

A lot of things are happening in my life right now, most of which I do not want to happen. At this moment, I do not understand why God allow these things to happen….

But, I trust that when I look back in the future, I will see God’s purpose and his grace, in the incidents that are happening in my life. Hence, this blog resumes…

We are praying for you!

2009-03-12T22:29:00.004-04:00

Dear Aunt 6,

We are all praying for you! Please wake up soon. Don't give up. Get up and inch me like you always do....Remember the silly things that we did together? I want to spend more time with you...

Please, get up.

Your niece in Canada,

Yuen Lin

My mom is discharged from hospital!

2009-02-24T23:07:00.000-05:00

After a complete two weeks of staying in the hospital, my mom is going home today. This is great news for our family, as she is finally back at home. Without her, our home is not really like home.

haha....the next challenge for us will be doing all the housework for her, so she has all the time she needs to rest. It's a challenge for us (cooking for me...hehe), but we will be up for the challenge..hehe...we will take good care of her from now on.

For all those who had pray for our family, visited her from the hospital, send her/us gifts and cards, gave us encouragements and/or walked with us along the way, we would like to once again give our sincere THANKS. And especially THANK GOD, as he is indeed emmanuel.

BTW, my mom is once again enjoying solid food these days.

Praise our LORD! And thankful to have brothers and sisters like you!

2009-02-12T23:59:00.003-05:00

Dearest brothers and sisters,

I thank God to have each of you in my family's lives. I saw all your replies, and even email reminders to pray for mom. We are so touch by your love and care. God listens to all your prayers. Thank you.

If you have not heard yet, my mom's surgery was successful. But more importantly, let me take a few minuates to share with you the rollercoaster ride our family had today with our Lord.

This morning, right after I arrived my office, the phone rang and it was my mom's surgeon. The surgeon told me that all the tests on my mom were done, but the result was not good. Basically, other than the tumor in her stomach, he also found a bigger tumor in her ovary. He said that the cancer is stage four, and the situation is very bad.

He told me that there were two option:

Option one was to "TRY" to remove the tumor in her stomach, if not, at least bypass the stomach, so that my mom "maybe" able to eat food again. He will have to ignore the tumor in her ovary because she is too weak.

Option two was to send my mom to downtown hospital. Because the doctors there "might be able" to remove both tumors in the stomach and the ovary at the same time. (that would be GREAT!) But that adds to the complexity of the surgery and the risk would be much greater.

Also, the time to wait for the surgery might be much much longer.

To make the long story short, we chose option one, since my mom was very uncomfortable and want to do the operation right away. The surgeon warned us that because my mom was so wake, that she might not make it through the operation. It was very very scary, and we were shocked.

Well, except for my mom, who was telling us to pray and trust God. God is so amazing. My mom was so peaceful, she did not look like she is facing the possibility of "death" at all.

Then I remember what God comforted me when I was doing devotion from the night before, the title/message was "Obey & you will see miracle". It was John 6:1-14, where the bible talked about the miracle Jesus "pull" ~ five small loaves and two small fish that feed 5000 people +

Also, Rev. Wong drop by the hospital with a bible verse from Palsm 46:1 that helped my mom a lot ~ "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble". My mom was repeating and repeating this bible verse when she was going into the operation room.

And I guess most of you already know the outcome. After a few hours, the operation was done, but not ONLY did the surgeon do what he planned to remove (the tumor in her stomach), but also the ovaries as well. God's grace is not only sufficient, but his grace is more than what we think or asked for. Indeed, it was God's miracle in our family. All of us are very joyful. God is our strength, our refuge, and our help!

(From Bad news 9am --> surgery decision at noon --> start of operation 6pm --> now, all in one day, it was a lot to digest...)

I understand that this journey will be a long one, this operation is only the first step. But our family learn a big lesson that no matter what happens in the future, good or bad, we know that our Lord is always with us, and therefore we do not need to be afriad.

And again, we thank you all. You guys are all my family's little angels :)

Waiting for next approach for mom...

2009-02-11T22:56:00.003-05:00

My mom has finish all testing requested by the doctor (at least, that's what my mom told me today). We will still have to wait for the doctor for the results of his tests. Currently, the doctor order that my mom not to eat nor drink, instead, the TPN is used to give her the daily nutritions and needs.

This afternoon, the nurses also put a tube from my mom's nose into her stomach, in order to "suck" all the "things" in her stomach out of her body. Although, the tube from her nose is making her very uncomfortable, especially when talking. Therefore, we try to just talk to her, without asking for her response. The tube will stay on her nose for a couple of days, before all the "things" are "suck" out of her stomach. She seems to be very tired when we left the hospital tonight.

The days are tiring, but at the same time, each day God has provided little angels beside us to let us know HE is walking with my mom and my family in this difficult time. We will pray that God will continue to give my mom comfort, strength and peace. Hopefully we will know from the doctor what is the next approach soon.

In hospital, but thankful!

2009-02-09T23:59:00.002-05:00

I really have to thank brothers and sisters for their care and support! Thank you for the prayers, all the calls to church or me, and emails.

My mom, Vincent and I met with the surgeon this afternoon. The surgeon suggested that she either go to the hostipal tonight (Monday evening) or the next morning. So we decided to go right away, as she can receive more medical care as well as IV injection (as she doesn't want to eat, and cannot eat solid food). Also, she might also have a chance to "suck" all the things that are still in her stomach, OUT of her stomach...So that she can feel more comfortable.

After waiting in the emergency room for around 6 hours, she is now settle in at:

Room 462 bed #1 at Scarborough General Hostipal (northwest corner of McCowan & Lawerence)

The surgeon said further tests will need to be done on my mom the next couple of days, before he can determine the time of the surgery, or if surgery is the solution at all. For now, we will have to wait and see...But thank God that now mom has some medical staffs to take good care of her. Hopefully we will know sooner than later about any details of her tumor.

Thank God that my mom is still very positive and strong.

My mom...

2009-02-05T22:48:00.001-05:00

My mom recently had some problems with her stomach after she eat. After seeing the specialist and doing tests today, the result is not good. My mom is diagnosis with stomach cancer. At this moment, we do not know too much details. The doctor only said the tumor is in between the stomach and the small intestines. Because of this, the food she ate cannot get down to where it suppose to.

We will see the surgeon on Monday at 3pm. We will know more later on...right now, we only know that surgery is needed to remove all/parts of the stomach.

My mom's spirit is up, and our family will continue to have faith in GOD.

i surrender, LORD!

2008-07-31T00:17:00.002-04:00

After the Brazil STM trip, there are soo much lessons God taught me....
So much to learn...so much to share...

After I came back to Toronto, back to my daily life....back to "repeating"/"making" all the mistakes over again....

I see a change in myself, that I have the strength to fight my old self...

Lord, once again I come before you, and I want to tell you...

JESUS...I WANT TO SURRENDER ALL THINGS THAT KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU! NO MATTER WHAT CHANGES I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS TIME. I JUST WANT TO BE CLOSER TO YOU. I KNOW NOTHING ELSE CAN SATIFY ME BUT YOU. PLEASE HELP ME LORD! PLEASE SHOW ME HOW TO LOVE OTHERS LIKE YOU LOVED ME!

June 12

2008-06-12T22:03:00.000-04:00

Thank you for your testimony. We still miss you!

Birthday

2007-12-26T04:17:00.000-05:00

Almost 5 am, boxing day....looking out the window...CN tower still have Christmas light....Everyone is asleep...the emptiness inside my heart is as strong as ever. Have so much I want to tell, but no one is left to listen...

My dad called to say "Happy birthday!" to me...and then I realize my birthday is no longer the same. First birthday after my parents are separated. Hard to imagine how 28 years ago, they happily gave birth to me...together... from now on, my birthday has a different meaning...

It's hard because I realize I didn't celebrate my birthday with them much in the past, now, I no longer have a chance to share. It's hard because for my mom, me, and my dad, this day we will have memories that we no longer want to share. And from now on, we will not be spending this day together. And it doesn't help that today is also Christmas. It's hard because everyone is having fun in the party, and you have to hide your sadness and pretend everything is ok.

1 1/2 years now....I still don't think I have recovered and I don't know when I will recover.

I am no longer the same person 1 1/2 years ago. no longer sensible, always doubting...

I really don't know what to say/share anymore. really feel like hiding from people these days...

消失下...安靜下...

2007-12-12T00:44:00.000-05:00

一個大男人，本來有家... 但他自己選擇放棄。可能這些年來他也不快樂？才有這決定... 但現在也不覺他開心... 生命好像不由自主，好像所有都是被別人控制... 但其實一切都是由他選擇... 只是這次他太錯了。

看到這裡；可能你會說他抵死... 可是我不能。因為他是我的父親。

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

愈來愈覺得自己不懂與人分享... Vincent其外... 結了婚的人是這麼的嗎？我想不是...

好朋友，大概你到現在也不太明白... 為什麼我今天說我們太少通話，遲早就會像陌路人... 其實是因為這正是我曾經歷過的... 所以我更害怕失去... 這兩年，我最大感受是人與人之間關係是可以很快消失... 所以我比以前更珍惜。

可惜，原來我們想法不同。要不然，你也不會在當我demand多点communicate時，你卻remind我我們從前也是不多見，不多通電話的...

說到這裹，我大概沒有什麼可以再說。只好返回自己沈默的位置。我想，是時候退下來，消失下...安靜下...

鄭秀文受浸活出真我 (明報)

2007-12-10T22:36:00.000-05:00

Have not written a post for long time. Busy, lazy, and really didn't have much that I wanted to share about....

Couldn't resist to include this happy moment for my beloved singer/actress....very happy for her. To see how God had transformed her...is truly amazing...And a very good reminder for me to find the real me...and the real values in life.

【明報專訊】「在我未來人生路途中，我有更重要的使命要去擔當，我現在內心所擁有的平安，是金錢所買不到的，上帝之前給予我的放逐，無非是要讓我找到真正的自己，現在我才是活出真正的自己，擁有真正生命價值。」

在娛樂圈出道18年的鄭秀文，昨日與寇鴻萍、翁家穗、于莉及一位圈外朋友接受浸禮，Sammi在台上講出信仰的見證，說到這番話時，一向堅強的她忍不住落淚，但臉上卻充滿笑容，因為她找到真正的喜樂。昨日到場看她受浸的，除了經理人、助手及曾傳交惡的前助手阿爽之外，還有林青霞、毛舜筠、鄭裕玲、琦琦等多位圈中朋友。

前助手阿爽林青霞出席支持
Sammi說：「大家都習慣迎合世界的價值觀去處事，但卻欠缺活出真正自己的勇氣，正如過往的我，只活在充滿價值觀的生命中，當我以為擁有一切時，其實心中一無所有，我曾嘗試用很多成就去填滿心中空虛，原來情更恐怖，我內心更一無所有，只會永無止境的在名利場中追逐，根本無法認清自己的生命還有什麼。」

以往迎合世界價值觀處事
鄭秀文昨日受浸，正式成為「新造的人」，有了信仰後的她，一改以往予人「永遠專橫臭脾氣」的感覺，臉上已難見黑面，更永遠保持微笑，即使記者聞風而至採訪，因受浸而素顏示人的Sammi也全程保持笑容，難怪獲得「鄭四萬」的新外號了。

2 Thoughts Today...

2007-10-14T20:34:00.000-04:00

害怕走卻得往前走...

因為自己三尖八角，所以神又在磿我了。雖然很難受，但很感恩，因為靠住神，我定可勝過罪惡，勝過自己！

5 Days before my Wedding

2007-09-04T01:13:00.000-04:00

Today, Carmel brothers and sisters came and help out decorating the sanctuary for Vincent and my wedding. The place is beautiful! I thank all the brothers and sisters that came, I enjoy the process of decorating together more than seeing the finish outcome/product. We all had fun and enjoy it. Thank you GOD. I am surrounding by nice brothers and sisters because of you, Lord.

Two people that I cannot wait to thank. My Maid of Honour Carol, and my bridesmaid Kitty. Without them, this wedding could have been a disaster. They practically worked for me and Vincent for the past 2 weeks. Even when they are working in the office, they are actually working on something for our wedding. They put JV wedding on their shoulder and basically co-ordinated everything for JV. Thank you Thank you Thank you!

As for me, I am feeling anxious right at this moment. I am worried about the preparation, as I have 100% trust that Carol & Kitty can handle it. Just don't know what will happen between my parents on my special day...

Although, my mind keep on reminding myself that as long as me and Vincent show up on that day, everything should be fine.

From my heart...

2007-08-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

I discipline you, not because I enjoy it...As a matter of fact, I hate it. But I have to discipline you, because I love you. One day hopefully, you will understand that you need to be responsible at both your actions and your sayings in order to be a better person in this world.

Yes, I am not your parent. But with our family status now, it is up to me to take care of you. You may say I am too harsh on you this time. Maybe I am, but all I am trying to do is to teach you that you need to do what you say. Picture someone that you love, told you something. You treasured what they said and trusted what they said, and then later only to find out that they do not mean it. That's the feeling that I had on Saturday, and that's the feeling that your mom had for quite sometime now.

There are rules/boundaries in life (Bible, school, family, society, etc.) and breaking them should not be our priority. Maybe you are too young still, but if you don't start to respect these rules now...you won't start later either.

All in all, if I hurt you, I would like to say I am sorry. And Vincent gugu and I love you. But this disciplinary action will not change. After all, being responsible & have actions to backup what you say is very important in life.

六月三十日晴鄭秀文Toronto Show Mi 演唱會

2007-06-30T20:42:00.000-04:00

昨晚鄭秀文Toronto演唱會終於完滿結束。拍案叫絕！好正呀！唱得非常好聽！

其實自己不是抱太大期望去看，因為雖然香港的八塲演唱會好評如潮，叫好又叫座！但這是多倫多嘛！由四面台孌一面台，由適合開演唱會的紅館孌為打球的ACC。心中有擔心阿Mi在多的演唱會會不會事倍工半呢？好在，她的表演証實了我的擔心是多餘的！

最大驚喜是阿Mi的兩part的勁歌熱舞！掂呀！作為一位有哮喘病的歌手，常常給人評論她無氣！這次她的努力沒有白費，証明了佢真係得得哋！終於明白点解香港演唱會時, 好多人在這兩part起晒身同佢一齊跳了！看到她第二part的快歌，我笑了！學Sammi話齋。。。這演唱會的表演是最好証明，佢贏了另一個自己！

氣氛都好好（用Toronto standard）好多人勁叫Sammi,不過我個section就少啲！不過佢真係好funny, 好真，講話好自然！比之前演唱會好好多！

亦看到這位歌手的認真！一般歌手黎到 Toronto 開個唱，有些唱得差、有些交功課般、有些連encore也不唱！看到Sammi正正經經的選擇ACC，而不選擇什麼賭場（那些入場人士想賭多過想睇穌）看到她在台上交100% effort。。。

阿Mi,多謝你這good show！真的很欣賞你！作為你的粉絲實在以你為榮！

p.s. 有点失望是你唱少了I will follow him，和分享少了你在基督裏的經歷。。。

六月二十九日

2007-06-29T08:18:00.000-04:00

鄭秀文，欣賞你十一年la，終於去到你的演唱會。今晚ACC見！

六月二十八日晴

2007-06-28T21:52:00.000-04:00

應該是至親，卻不停在我背後講我是非。在教會裏，明白我的弟兄姊妹會找我問清楚。。。但有幾多弟兄姊妹聽了你的指控而信以為真呢？我知道你很難過，所以我都算了。。。為什麼現在你又向親戚們這樣說？

你昨日的行動我反對，那又怎樣？就是因為我不支持，你就說我常常幫他，不理你？我敢說，任何人昨日也會左止你的。。。

可以諒解你的行為，但怎樣認同不到你的做法正確。。。

我已經不知道我再可以做什麼，再可以講什麼。。。這年多我所做、所講的，原來一点也沒有幫到你！

六月二十七日晴

2007-06-28T01:41:00.000-04:00

究竟我可以点？選左！右就不開心。。。選右。。。左就。。。其實我應点選擇？

今晚發生了一件我從來沒想過會發生在我家裹的事。。。有時我真的佷想知道点解事件不可以處理得好一点。。。我真的很怒，很累，很失望！我知道你倆也很幸苦。。。我知你們的傷痕比我深。。。我真的明白，真的體量。。。一年多了，我亦從沒要求你們理我的感受，但妺還很小。。。可否在發x前想一想她？

真的是我不夠支持你們嗎？今次，我真的很反對你們的處理手法。無論怎樣不開心，也不應想点就点！做人應有底線。。。

這年多我真的盡了很大努力去學習神給我的功課。。。忍耐、饒恕、愛。。。但我真的覺得很累、很累了。父神，我很需要祢給予力量再往前走。我已沒力氣了。。。

零晨一点多了，我和妹也還未睡。雖然大家都說沒事了，但我想今晚我們很難睡得着了！

六月二十五日晴

2007-06-25T23:40:00.000-04:00

今日我和VINCENT最好的朋友買屋了！公喜公喜。。。你們會收留我們這些無家可宿者吧？！

六月二十日

2007-06-20T01:39:00.000-04:00

恨一個人，辛苦的只是自己。。。所以我選擇饒恕！

My friend, Thank you!

2007-06-09T01:53:00.000-04:00

You know, I am really blessed with a lot of good friends in my life. Thank God.

One of them is Ning Chi - who is also the designer for the "SAVE THE DATE" and invitation cards for our wedding.

Even on the day that she had to leave to HK for her trainning, she went to the printshop to arrange all the printing for our wedding invitation cards....taking care of my things before her own. THANK YOU, my good friend!

You better be back soon, I miss u so much already!

I WILL FOLLOW HIM!

2007-06-08T23:14:00.000-04:00

I was never a person that "think" too much. Especially when it relates to God. For past years, I was always a person that read/hear what the Bible says, accepts it...and sometimes practice it for a while, and then forget it until the next time I read/hear about the message again.

For the past two years, with all the things that are happening in my life, all the uncertainties....I began to ask a lot of questions, and ponder... Questions like:

How does this particular message from God relates to my life?
What does God want me to learn during all these darkness periods? What does he want to accomplish in my life in allowing all these things to happen?
Is God's grace sufficient for me?
What is my purpose in life? What does God want me to do?

The more severe questions...
Does God really loves me?
Is God here with me, where is his presence?
Is God real?

These are sometimes what people call "sinful" questions, especially when it did came out of a christian's mind ...but I feel that one will experience the "LOST" period during some stage(s) in their life. It is better to ask these questions and find out the answers sooner than later.

AS you can see in these questions....these two years is a searching and a "LOST" period for me, both spiritually and mentally. With all the uncertainties....all the relationship problems....all the sickness that I am experiencing - Somewhere, somehow I lost my focus. There were a lot of times that I had NO desire to go to church, had NO desire to care about others. Had No desire to serve....

Until my best friend, also a sister in Christ reminded me....that even though I am lost, but I have to remember my identity. I have to remember who I am....for I am one of God's people.

When there were times that I didn't want to listen to God's words, God sent little messengers to help me out. It could be people closest to me, or it could be an elder that I never talk with much. But I can hear God's words through them during the difficult time in my life...

And at the few times that I finally pick up the Bible, EVERY TIME I read it...EVERY TIME I can hear God talking to me and answering specific questions that I had.

I guess what I am trying to say is that God is here in my life...in the most difficult time, God cares and God loves me. His grace is sufficient for me.

Just comparing one year before and now - looking back, in almost the same situation....I found myself better than the ME one year ago. My patience is more....my faith is stronger...As Sammi Cheng said in her recent concert, "To win is to win a better me. Life is me competing with myself, as we should not compare/compete with other."

To summarize, using another message that I heard from this beloved singer/actress that I adore very much during her concert, "I will follow him....the HIM is God/Jesus, he will provide me with the strength I need to face myself, and my future."

Another Bible passage during devotion that I really like:

Hosea 6:1-3
"COME, LET us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear"

At difficult times, it's hard to understand why our lovely father will "torn" us or "injure" us. This is the time when I had questioned him. But I am his people and since I belong to him, he has all the authorities in my life. I really need to learn to humble myself. What he has prepared are things that I can get through (2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.) His timetable could be 2 days or 2 years or 20 years, before he heals me....but there is hope in HIM. When the time comes, he will revive me, he will restore me...I just have to get through it and wait patiently to see what he has prepared for me. The important thing here is that I continue to acknowledge him and have faith in him during these time. And one day, in his time, I will experience his grace, like the sun. And throughout this process, I will become a better, stronger christian.

四月四日 - 人生中的第一次

2007-04-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

今天真的很精彩，朝早起床，面已發到豬頭，於是沒有返工。睡了一整天。心想明天會更好。

也對，因為好戲在後頭。。。哈哈！

回家後沖凉時，躇低起身見頭暈。然後暈到了。最精彩是。。。叫了人生中的第一次白車。進了醫院，現在還在等。牧師，德榮叔叔也來了，謝謝他們的關心。德榮叔叔回家後又來送上暖暖的水，實在太合時了。

也感恩的是，病得合時，起碼有一個復活節假期讓我休息。

真的很累，是時候睡了。

Later on, Swana came too after she finished work. It was already after 12am....but when she arrived, I was still waiting outside to see the doctor. Apparently, there was only one doctor to treat all the patients from the emergency room?! WHAT?

Thank you Swana.

OH, at the end.... We were finally called to see the doctor. Then Swana left...

And I was hospitalized for overnight. Got 1 1/2 bags of IV injection. And a bed to lay on for the long night. I have to THANK Vincent the most...since he was there the whole night with me....and without a bed...haha...funny to see him try to sleep in his (actually mine) wheelchair for the whole long night in the hospital.

學習的功課

2007-04-02T23:09:00.000-04:00

感謝神給我學習的功課...

願來衪一直在改孌我，以前的我很介意別人眼光，所以一定會以病作excuse不去事奉衪...但這次衪跟我說：我可以差遣誰?無論什麼Circumstances，你會承擔嗎?

於是我去了，神給我所看見，所學習到很多...

沒有外在，沒有聲線，但我深信這次事奉比自己以前的，神更悅立...

感謝父神的帶領！

又病了!

2007-03-31T21:51:00.000-04:00

又病了。都唔知點解咁弱。皮膚又紅，又敏感。又加有少少感冒，真係唔知點好。工作又忙，唉！壓力重現、敏感返來lu!希望星期日領詩前會好D啦！

終於決定星期日領詩了，臉卻反而差了。愈來愈紅，敏感勁了。只希望明日領詩時不會因敏感使弟兄姊妹分心了。雖然我這些日子不想見人，但出了我的名字在程序表上，實在不想事奉假手於人！而且上台事奉也是事奉神吧，又不是做show，臉紅不紅也是其次，只希望不會做成恐慌便是了。

已經兩天沒有返團契。因為實在需耍畤間養病！因除了全身敏感，我還感冒呢！真的死得了。。。現在發現身體健康的重要了！原來能夠健康事奉，也是恩典來的！希望早日康復，到時也不會懶惰，起來事奉神！

小記。。。永勝弟兄想我讚賞他今日買給我的晏，我只好從命了。。。哈哈！

2007-03-31T21:50:00.000-04:00

Back to Toronto from Hong Kong, Japan, and Chicago?! (For 1 month)

Why Chicago? Well, we were stuck in Chicago for 1 day because of the so call "snow storm"....Therefore, we all took one extra day off before coming back...

So how is Japan and Hong Kong? GREAT! Especially Hong Kong where I was able to spend a lot of time with my grandparents and my 3 lovely aunts. I wish I can stay longer to spend more time with them. Beginning to miss them a lot already! I also saw a lot of my friends, but just for a little while. Yes, I wish I have more time...

Japan was great too, we saw lots of new stuff. And it's good to go there with Carol and Tony, of course Vincent la. Since there's won't be a lot of chance in the future where us 4 can take a long vacation like that to a city far as Tokyo. It was a great time spent with close friends.

Haha, as you can notice, my vacation was "people-driven" and not "city-driven"....until now, I still have not talk about the cities itself....all I talked about is the people I spent with! Haha...but I don't plan to talk about the places I went to for now...hehe...

最重要不是去邊，而是同邊個去！希望再有機會一齊去旅行啦！

必得見耶和華的面

2006-11-03T12:29:00.000-05:00

詩11:1我是投靠耶和華．...
詩11:3 根基若毀壞、義人還能作甚麼呢。
詩11:4 耶和華在他的聖殿裡．耶和華的寶座在天上．他的慧眼察看世人。
詩11:5 耶和華試驗義人．...
詩11:7 因為耶和華是公義的．他喜愛公義．正直人必得見他的面。

投靠耶和華.毀壞我根基.他察看世人.試驗我.
他喜愛公義．正直人必得見他的面。

詩12:5 耶和華說、因為困苦人的冤屈、和貧窮人的歎息、我現在要起來、把他安置在他所切慕的穩妥之地。
詩12:7 耶和華阿、你必保護他們．你必保佑他們永遠脫離這世代的人。

詩13:2 我心裡籌算、終日愁苦、要到幾時呢．我的仇敵升高壓制我、要到幾時呢。
詩13:3 耶和華我的　神阿、求你看顧我、應允我、使我眼目光明、免得我沉睡至死．...
詩13:5 但我倚靠你的慈愛．我的心因你的救恩快樂。

詩14:6 你們叫困苦人的謀算、變為羞辱．然而耶和華是他的避難所。

最好的朋友

2006-11-02T16:01:00.000-05:00

Got this from a website...very meaningful...

要了解，也要開解；要道歉，也要道謝；
要認錯，也要改錯；要體貼，也要體諒；
是接受，而不是忍受；是寬容，而不是縱容；
是支持，而不是支配；是慰問，而不是質問；
是傾訴，而不是控訴；是難忘，而不是遺忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是為對方默默祈求，而不是向對方諸多要求；

以上的都做到了，即使不再，也只有懷念，而不會懷恨。

世界上有一些人，總是在任何時候都不忘記你,
不論在多遠的地方，都不會改變對你的祝福,
當你受到委屈或者跟別人吵架的時候，總想找他傾訴，
在麻煩來臨的時候需要到他幫忙，
有了快樂總想與你分享, 總是第一個想到他的人，
你哭泣時, 總是陪在你身邊安慰你的人。
不在金錢上和你斤斤計較的人，為了你的進步而高呼萬歲的人。
有事情總想對你說，不在你面前有秘密的人。
總是包容你，而在你犯的錯，第一個要求你改正的人。
能分享和分擔是最完美的朋友。

2006 大多市培靈會 - 蔡元雲醫生

2006-10-28T23:08:00.000-04:00

In the Workplace:
Let there be light!
Because Jesus is the LIGHT!
公義, 良善, 誠實...

Daily:
Compare with others is no good, since you always can find people worst.
Focus on Jesus - how he 捨己 for us all...
Today, how do I react to his love?
I need to 放下 the self-centre me and follow Jesus's footsteps daily.
Dear Lord, please redeem me everyday, and help me to learn to 捨己!!

遇見神 - 張敬軒

2006-10-28T02:54:00.000-04:00

曲,詞: 西伯編曲: 金培達

看天邊飄過雲海告訴世界幻變常在
從來人在月缺下盼月圓
天天總有上演告訴你我動人故事
動人情節留下伏線細心飾演

如何人心粉碎像微塵
無言留淚滿身抖震
如何遇見神被擁抱再得起身
明明平安彷彿天邊遠
流連遊盪暗失方寸
然而遇見神被指引再生精采心內滲

看天邊飄過雲海告訴世界幻變常在
從來人在月缺下盼月圓
天天總有上演告訴你我動人故事
動人情節留下伏線細心飾演

如何人心粉碎像微塵
無言留淚滿身抖震
如何遇見神被擁抱再得起身
明明平安彷彿天邊遠
流連遊盪暗失方寸
然而遇見神被指引再生精采心內滲

只因有你今天有你了不起

誰無遐想一生精采佳美
由誰來導演出好戲
人能遇見神是福氣最終高飛
從來難數高低多少次
何時成就那天失意
前途幻變時路雖遠有這福氣心內暖

遇見神　被擁抱

2006-10-25T16:24:00.000-04:00

學習分享...